


You would not believe your eyes

by mkhhhx



Series: KiHo Bingo S2017 [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Camping, Car Accidents, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, KiHo Bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 13:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11510400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/pseuds/mkhhhx
Summary: Kihyun visits Hoseok and brings him some fireflies. Hoseok loved fireflies.





	You would not believe your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> For the "Fireflies"KiHo bingo square, title by Owl CIty-Fireflies~

**“Hey, Hoseok” Kihyun says sitting cross legged on the grass, taking a jar out of his bag and placing it in front of him. “Look what I brought you, aren’t they beautiful?” he smiles to himself, the jar of fireflies bright in the dark scenery. He leans on the cold marble, listening to the soft sounds, the birds, the cars passing nearby. He wishes he could see the stars, but the night is cloudy.**

“Kihyun, we need to set up the tent first”

“The tent can wait” Kihyun climbs on Hoseok’s tights, in the limited space of the driver seat, but they don’t complain, it’s fairly cold outside anyway.

“This one can’t?” Hoseok giggles, pointing at his lover’s crotch, pulling the heavy sweater off Kihyun. It’s one more first for them, not making love in the car, because they’ve done it so many times before at the cinema’s parking and in Hoseok’s garage but being completely alone, no parents, no friends, no random strangers around. It’s only Hoseok, Kihyun and the forest surrounding them.

“Don’t just laugh, you are the one who forgot to take the instruction leaflet!” Kihyun is kneeling, trying to fix their new tent, but he has never done something like it again and Hoseok is a few meters behind him, leaning on the car and laughing with his hands crossed over his chest. It’s early afternoon and they still have enough time with sufficient light but as always, Kihyun wants to make sure everything will be in place.

After some struggling they set up the tent and it looks okay enough to sleep in, Hoseok fetching the pillows and duvet from the car and Kihyun getting the food and wine they planned to have for dinner. It’s nothing much, just cheap red wine and chicken with rice but on the other hand they are young and in love and it’s more than they could ask for.

Since they can’t light up a fire when the sun goes down and the breeze grows cooler, they go for the less romantic option of wearing their thickest coats and Kihyun wraps himself in Hoseok’s arms, drinking wine from the bottle because they forgot to take cups with them and trying not to stain his clothes with barbeque sauce.

**“I am doing okay, I started this semester and it’s lonely without you but I take notes and I’ll come tell you all the cool stuff I’ll be learning”. He enjoys visiting Hoseok the most at night, when he is sure he won’t bump into anyone else, like Hoseok’s mother or Minhyuk, or that lady who is always crying nearby at noon. Some flowers are fresh and the old watered, indicating someone else visited Hoseok earlier in the day. Kihyun thinks leaving flowers is pretentious.**

“Babe, we’ll get sick” Kihyun tries, under Hoseok, the grass blades tickling his neck and ankles. The wine bottles are empty, their bellies full and Hoseok decided he wants to kiss Kihyun and they ended up like this, sprawled out in the middle of the clearing illuminated only by the moon and stars, still not as bright as Hoseok’s toothy smile.

They have two nights and two days. Hoseok planned all of it, for their second anniversary together, while Kihyun just thought of a nice dinner and maybe booking a hotel to spend the night together. Hoseok busted into his apartment and told him to make a bag with the necessary and that they are going to an adventure. Hyunwoo watched amused, probably happy to have the dorm room to himself for the weekend, thankfully Kihyun’s roommate was never the nosy one.

They took the elevator down and made a stop at the pizza place near Kihyun’s to buy fried chicken and Hoseok announced he had already bought wine and other surprises, walking to his own house, to take his father’s car, arrange everything in the trunk and start, Hoseok driving and changing the radio stations happily, Kihyun nested beside him, watching the scenery of the town change more and more, until they were driving alone, in the forest. It was Friday evening when they arrived and nobody expects them back in town until Sunday.

 **He is pretty sure Hoseok’s mother hates him. Maybe his father and brother and Minhyuk. He sometimes hates himself too, for not being more careful, for not watching over Hoseok and every time he repeats to himself that it wasn’t his fault he believes it a little less. He understands the mother’s grief, even if it is so different f** **rom his own.**

 **For Hoseok’s mother, her son is nowhere, he is not in his room and** **not attending college and not out with his friends. For Kihyun, his lover is everywhere. In that spare chair in the class and in the music he listens before falling asleep and in the teddy holding a heart on his desk.**

Saturday morning finds them tangled, Hoseok littering his neck with kisses and letting his hands wander around Kihyun’s thin frame. They have tea and a portable little gas stove to boil water. Hoseok also has a map of the forest and they decide to leave it behind and get lost.

Kihyun wears Hoseok’s already oversized sweater and takes his hand, walking toward the opposite side of the road. They walk and talk and laugh and he feels still so in love with that handsome boy he first saw at a 9am lecture and they started exchanging notes and then numbers and then kisses.

They find a river and follow it, taking pictures of the small waterfalls and the winter flowers and selfies together. They sit at the bank to eat lunch, sandwiches and juice, Hoseok entertaining himself trying to name all the birds flying from one tree to an other.

“Can we spend the rest of our lives here?” Kihyun lightly taps his chin, until Hoseok kisses him, softly and tenderly.

“We can, but I’d prefer to get my degree first. Then we can make a house here.”

“Here?” Kihyun mutters against Hoseok’s lips, hot breath coming out in icy puffs.

“Right here love” Hoseok confirms, rubbing the side of his head on Kihyun’s shoulder, a comforting habit Kihyun finds adorable.

“We should tell them sometime Hoseok, everyone.” Hoseok looks back nodding.

“I want to, I just don’t know how.”

“We’ll figure it out together, when we get back.” Kihyun puts off the conversation again because he can’t stand the pained expression and Hoseok’s eyes shaking with anxiety.

It’s been two years dating and nobody except Kihyun’s brother knows. His roommate Hyunwoo must have suspected something too. At this point, everyone must be suspecting things about them. He wants to tell Hoseok that they can’t keep it up for long, saying they are just good friends, sleeping together only when Hyunwoo is away or Hoseok’s parents out of town.

Hoseok tried telling his best friend, Minhyuk once and Minhyuk just found more reasons to dislike Kihyun. Because he is taking his best friend away. Because in his opinion, Hoseok can’t be gay, nobody in their town can. Kihyun through, who came only two years ago for university can and that’s why he is a bad influence.

Hoseok’s parents have the same, if not an even more conservative mindset. Kihyun is an outsider, a guy who looks at their son in strange ways and sometimes sits too close to him and when he visits Hoseok always shuts his room’s door and doesn’t want anyone to disturb them.

**Now, they will never know. Or they already do, maybe opening Hoseok’s laptop and finding all the pictures he has of Kihyun, Kihyun semi-naked waking up and smiling for the camera, Kihyun in Hoseok’s old clothes, Hoseok kissing Kihyun’s cheek and taking a photo at the middle of the city one summer night.**

**They had everything planned, together and it shattered. Kihyun will not move in with Hoseok for their last year in university. They won’t adopt dogs and they won’t travel to America and Europe together. They won’t spend happy holidays with their families around large dinner tables.**

**Kihyun turns his phone on, Hoseok still smiling at him from his home screen. It’s almost 3am and he knows he shouldn’t be here, but he can’t bring himself to get up and leave. He just wants a little more time with Hoseok, the time he will never have again.**

They walk back to their camping site and it’s getting dark, dinner forgotten the moment Hoseok pushes Kihyun into the tent and falls gracelessly on top of him, closing the fly behind them.

“Happy anniversary love” he says, already undressing Kihyun, their eyes meeting for a short moment and Hoseok’s are so full of love, making Kihyun wonder if he could ever run out.

Hoseok is a tease, but an emotional one. He kisses until Kihyun’s skin is burning and his hands are scratching his biceps, moaning for more and the next moment he is lying beside Kihyun, telling him how much he loves him, again and again, until Kihyun gets on top and rides him just how he knows Hoseok likes it the most.

They get out of the tent in the middle of the night because it got too hot and it feels like a dream. There are stars on the sky and there are stars on the grass and the trees. Little lights, illuminating every leaf and rock, countless as if they are mirroring the night sky.

“Fireflies” Hoseok exhales besides him, smiling like a child, trying to catch a firefly and making some fly away. He finally traps one between his palms and brings it to Kihyun. It’s cute, he thinks, with its antennas and lighting butt. He tells Hoseok and he chuckles until the bug flies away, a tiny, beautiful light among others. 

“I love them” Hoseok says happily “not as much as you” he cheesy adds and they promise to come back soon and see the fireflies again, maybe when the weather will be better and they’ll be able to sleep outside with the moon shining among them.

A firefly lands on Hoseok’s shoulder, lighting up half of his face and he puffs his cheeks, showing the eye-smile Kihyun loves more than anything in the whole world. They mutually decide that fireflies are their favourite animal and bid them goodnight before returning into their tent to finally sleep.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The next morning Kihyun wakes up sore and in a dull mood, thinking of the little time left alone together. He can’t help but smile with Hoseok’s morning hair and pink cheeks as they get their breakfast and messily put the tent back in its bag.

They get into the car without actually starting the machine, taking in the scenery, the quiet and the sounds of the forest. The way back is a four hour drive, enough to sing in the car and to tell lame jokes and for Hoseok to once again declare his undying love for Kihyun. Kihyun should have told him he loves him too, but he was always more restrained with his words. He thought they’ll have the rest of their lives to tell how much they love each other.

 **“I love you” he whispers, hoping the wind will deliver his words to Hoseok. He regrets all the things they could have done together and** **didn’t, for one reason or the other. Watching that one movie Hoseok wanted to so badly, going together to Kihyun’s favorite museum, coming out together.**

**He wants to do everything they had promised to do together, wishing that somehow Hoseok is still by his side, watching, keeping him company, walking, maybe floating, down the road when going to college every morning. Kihyun never believed to ghosts or angels or spirits, but he needs some proof that Hoseok is still with him, now more than ever. He doesn’t realize he is crying until his hands brush the hair out of his eyes and his hands fall back into his lap wet.**

They stop for lunch and refreshments and Hoseok insists to take photos of the landscape, kisses Kihyun’s head promising to be right back, while Kihyun buys them food and searches for a nice table to sit.

He waits more than he thinks he should, or it’s just that he is alone and time passes slowly. He turns around to the entrance of the restaurant, noticing commotion, people running outside and others inside. Someone asks if there is a doctor nearby and he rushes outside, even though still a student, he can do the basics.

There are people in the middle of the road, traffic coming to a halt, creating an open space and in the middle of it, Hoseok is there, lying in a pool of his own blood, a car with matching red stains and a young driver trembling on his seat. Kihyun kneels to his side, his mind on autodrive, trying to recall his first aid lectures, but when he checks Hoseok’s pulse, he feels nothing.

**“I need to go back, okay? I promise to come again soon.” He looks at the jar of fireflies he brought. He had found them near the cemetery, at the outskirts of the city and thought Hoseok would like seeing them, but they look miserable in the confined space, so Kihyun opens the lid and lets them fly, illuminating Hoseok’s photo, with his bright, genuine smile.**

**It’s a photo Kihyun took, before they even started dating, they must have found it in his laptop. “I’ll smile only if you smile for me too” Hoseok had said, seconds before Kihyun snapped it. So Kihyun stops crying, the last sobs turning to soft hiccups and smiles all the way back.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
